He punched my arm lightly and said, “Mate, you scared the crap out of me! I thought you were banning me from sex. That would have cost me a fortune in tissues!”I laughed and returned the favour with a slap on the back of his head. “Please tell me you’ve at least invested in some condoms since last time. You can never be too careful, and you don’t want to see what I’d do to you if you got Caity pregnant!”He smirked. “I have, I promise. Caity has her security buy them for us.”“Really”, I said sarcastically. “I should drag you down to Boots and make you buy some yourself! Is little Simon afraid of the scary pharmacy lady?”“Oh God, please don’t: I’d die of embarrassment! Anyway, I have to keep them in Caity’s room. If my mum found them at home, she’d murder me.”“Why’s that?”, I asked innocently.“I’m her baby boy. She can’t know I’m having sex! She only lets me come over here because she thinks we’re chaperoned.”“Hmm, maybe I should call her.”Simon knew I wouldn’t, but he played along.. I just don’t understand woman at all. I know Henry had money and power and all that crap, but at the end of the day he was a short, bald, fat old guy with nothing appealing about him that I could see, other than enormous personal wealth and power, a nice car and able to take his girlfriends to flash places.I wondered where the fuck Henry was right now? Probably having a nice warm lie-in in the penthouse suite at the Grand Hotel, while his missus was doing her Good Samaritan act helping me get my poor broken body up my rickety old iron outside staircase leading up to my own personal attic hideaway from hell.Inside, I swear that little flat is fully five degrees lower than it is on the outside, except in summer when it is ten degrees higher indoors. We entered that single room and the combined stench of cat shit, cat urine and general damp, neglect and mildew hit me like a solid noxious wall, offending the senses like I imagine a Turkish urinal would, and I was fucking-well used to it,.
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